May We Meet Again

Numb.
All I feel is numb.
The panic and the fear

But I know you are with me.
I can feel you all around me.
as illogical
and unknowing as it could be.
I can feel that you are with me.

I can’t explain.
I just know.

So many things in heaven and earth
that we don’t know
that we can’t know
​​​​​​​in this lifetime.

Oh, so many things.
I wish I had told you.
Before you died.

You weren’t just human,
you were the best of us.

And I know you made mistakes.
But to me you were a hero.

You inspired me.
to do better,
​​​​​​​to be better.

I wish I could have been there for you.
When you were fighting that demon
When you were fighting the wolf.

I was too young to understand.
That all the while you were smiling
and holding my hand
you were suffering.

Instant love
it was when we first met.
I barely remember it now.
But I remember how I felt.
I had finally come home to rest.

You never forget how a person makes you feel.

Never.

I felt the warmth,
the care,
the love.
I still feel it from time to time
whenever you hang around.

It feels like a warm blanket
draped over my shoulders
keeping me safe
​​​​​​​from all harm.

And I don’t know what I believe,
​​​​​​​but I know that I believe in YOU.

I don’t hate you for the mistakes you made.
I love you for the person you were.
And I hope that wherever you are,
​​​​​​​you are free and happy.

Watch over me
Keep me safe
May we meet again.

NOTE: picture was colored on an app called Paint By Number.

I wrote this poem about my aunt who had Lupus and an addiction to Opioids. Addiction runs rampant throughout my family. Everywhere you look you can see the damage done by this horrible disease.

I don’t know how I feel about the afterlife or whether it even exists. I want there to be life after death because I want to see HER again. I miss her so much. Still, after 20 years.

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